Dear Body,

You have failed me. Again. You have been failing me for six years now. One fall after the other. The minute I get up and finally step out of the hole I was in, I find myself fallen into another. Another visit to the hospital, another round of IVs, another set of tests, some new meds. I am tired. I am so tired of this never ending cycle. My lungs have run out of sighs to puff. My limbs of strength for me to get up and fight again.

Dear Body,

Sit with me here for a while, both of us in our white gowns with saline and blood pooling beneath us.Look at me.We will not give up. No matter how tired and exhausted we are, we will not give up. You have failed me for the last six years but I have failed you six years before that and I am so deeply sorry. This is not about you putting up with me nor is it about me lifting you on my bad as I try to climb us both out of the same hole we are in, for the twelfth time.

Dear Body,

This is a path that we will walk together, hand in hand. We will lean on each others when this untrodden road gets too tiring. We will lift each other up across the mountains and the hills of recovery because we are both so deserving of a healthy life.

Dear Body,

You are mine and I am yours; you are me and I am you and this is the only constant that we should hold on to.We will make it, path the valleys and the mountains and the hills and the crossroads, we will make it past the finish line, as a team.

I love you,
I’m trying to,